Hello, 2024. I’m already a week into your year but better late than never to say hello. How time flies.

Somehow, I am still here.

Writing this has been on the back of my mind for awhile but I didn’t get time to process and write about it until today.

So, let’s just jump into this, shall we?

Year in Review: 2023

There are things I liked and did not like about this year. But before I get into that, here’s some quick stats:

Number of music pieces played: 12

Number of desserts made: 8

Number of savory things made: 15

Shortest Post: Tahu dan Telur Panggang (485 words)

Longest Post: Chocolate Chip Cookie Battle 2023 (1727 words)

Total # of rambling words: 23 611 words (nowhere near the ~50 000 words I reached last year)

Total number of posts for this year: 32 posts

Personal favorite thing made this year:

• Kaya Jam Linzer Cookies (I really love kaya jam. The coconutty-ness and mildness of this cookie is A+)

31 is quite far from 52 but I will take it. My life outside of this blog has been admittedly busier this year, compared to last year. I had the goal last year to expand my library knowledge of hymns and praise and just get back into music. I wanted to play at least 36 new songs this year–I only accomplished playing and recording 12–reaching about 33% of my original goal. I am also very surprised that I’ve cooked more than baked–a sign of my own limited time as well.

It would be easy for me to feel regretful of the things that I didn’t accomplish. In fact, as I look back on how my 2023 ended, there are things that I do regret or wish that I did differently.

But I want to be kind to past me. She went through a lot. She traveled to two countries–one to love her mom and another to grow in love for a country and a family she thought very little about. She still played at a few weddings this year. She launched a 40-day challenge for her students and took them to Great America. She actually tried being proactive in reaching out to students, her coworkers, her friends, and her family. She actually tried sharing the gospel. She had the privilege of being able to stick around the youth group she was placed with for once and saw them grow. She grew to care enough for them that she became upset by their apathy towards God, instead of mirroring their own apathy.

She tried so much.

Yes, I didn’t get to cook as much as I thought. Yes, I didn’t get to play as many songs as I thought I would. Yes, there is generally a lot more that I wish that I have done but did not accomplish in doing. But there is so much that I was able to do that is outside the realms of this blog. I recognize zooming out, God gave me so much and has been growing me in different ways over the past year of 2023.

2023 Nicole, you tried so many new things that are not covered in this blog. You did not fail and I am proud of you.

Looking Ahead to 2024

I’m going to be honest. I was not feeling fine, entering 2024. In fact, I felt ambivalent and a bit of a dreadful feeling, wondering what 2024 holds for me.

I’ve been living in SJ for the past three years and have been now six years out of college. With the event of a new year and a nice amount of emotional baggage sent with love by 2023, this was something that my mind justified as enough of a reason to send me into a “what am I doing with my life” crisis.

It is with great timing that my church gave us the challenge this month to memorize Hebrews 11, which reminds me of what the picture of faith looks like. Particularly, I was struck by Hebrews 11:8, where the verse mentions, “And [Abraham] went out, not knowing where he was going.”

Much of what this year looks to me right now remains unclear to me and that distresses me quite a bit.

Yet, I want to be like Abraham who went because he trusted God. Though the future was unclear and, at times, bleak for him, he continued to have hope and faith in God’s promises to him. Likewise, I want to be faithful and be brave and hopeful about entering 2024 in the same way, despite the uncertainty I feel about it. I just want to be humble and see God through new fresh eyes with a sense of wonder. I want to experience and learn so many different things this year.

Thus, the theme for 2024 is learning/being faithful to discipline. My goal is to accomplish the following:

• Learn the hymns of the month and document them here. There is a hymn that is selected by my church every month. I feel that this is doable because this is just 12 songs over the year.
  • January: Wonderful Words of Life (expect this to be coming up sometime this month)
• Learn Indo and pick up Japanese again. This past year, I’ve grown to love both countries and would like to challenge myself to reach an A2 CEFR level of language proficiency by the end of this year.
  • While I can’t document my progress in language learning here (though you might see more guest appearances of my rambling in different languages), I do commit to also learning more about the culture as well too…which also includes food. This is also an excuse to get more use out of the cookbooks I have been gifted in the past.
    • 6 food posts related to Indo food
    • 6 food posts related to Japanese food
• Read 12 books and document them. I don’t read much but I’ve recently completed two books recently and forgot that I actually do like to read. There is a list of good books that I would like to read.
  • To keep things fresh, these can be twelve books of any genre. Meaning I will treat books like “Satan and His Kingdom” with the same amount of respect as “Warriors: The New Prophecy”.
• Going to try to keep with the tradition of 52 things, the remaining 16 things will probably be food posts of anything new I tried to make or any other fun non-food spontaneous posts.

I feel that these goals are challenging but doable. I press on, not knowing what lies ahead for me this year but I will try to be brave.

Here’s to 2024.