“Hey, would you be able to host DT breakfast on Friday?”

As with many things in my life, what usually prompts me to do anything is a question. What the question prompted me to do was to make spam egg croissant sandwiches for breakfast. A pretty straightforward recipe and an excuse to eat Spam again, this one was taken from Kristina Cho’s Eat Cho Food.

I guess it’s not that big of a stretch to see a salty, fatty meat like Spam be a reasonable substitute for another salty, fatty meat like bacon. Curiously, I don’t think I ever ate Spam as a breakfast food but I have had it for every other meal–from lunch, snacks, to dinner. I have a good amount of fond memories eating Spam growing up. It was a go-to meal when my mom was feeling particularly lazy for cooking dinner. She would slice up some Spam and bake it. Though it was salty and good, my mom was careful that we wouldn’t eat too much of it, limiting us to two pieces of spam for a bowl of rice at a time. Sometimes, I remember mixing it in with soup because it added a burst of saltiness that I liked in my soup.

In other context, Spam is also great in Spam musubi. Spam musubi was THE choice of smuggled-in movie snack when I went to the movie theater at my local mall, growing up. There’s something so satisfying about eating a piece of Teriyaki-glazed Spam nestled between two layers of rice layered in seaweed. While I don’t think I would willingly buy a Spam musubi anytime soon, I don’t think I would ever get sick of the taste.

Anyway, as you can see, I have a good amount of positive memories associated with Spam.

Making It

Well, it’s Spam. There is only so much variation for directions when it comes to Spam related recipes. I sliced 1 can of Spam into 8 parts and dumped the kimchi onto a sheet pan then baking it at 400F until its edges were browned.

In the meantime, I sliced up 3 pieces of Kraft singles in half, sliced open the croissants, and chopped up some green onions. After placing the six cheese half-slices on the pieces of spam and letting the kimchi and cheese spam bake again, I then placed the croissants on a new sheet pan.

Cracking the eggs was where things got a little more interesting. I’m guessing based on the settings of my fridge, that my fridge cooling environment was a little too cold. Because interestingly enough, I noticed that a good amount of eggs in my carton were cracked. I first noticed this phenomenon a few days ago when I mistakenly thought that I dropped some eggs or something.

Yeah no, it was the eggs. Turns out my fridge was so powerful that the eggs froze. And because water does what water does when it turns into ice, it expands, thus explaining the cracks in the eggs. So I was in for an interesting surprise when I tried cracking some eggs onto the pan–only to find myself instead peeling away the shell of a frozen egg, which was not too dissimilar to the way I would handle a boiled egg.

The consequences of this would reveal itself later when my eggs decided to cook unevenly due one egg being unfortunately frozen, leading a longer baking time and leading to a more hardboiled eggs, trying to cook the remnants of raw egg on my pan.

Great.

I also noticed that my baking pan must’ve been slightly warped because my eggs kept running into my croissants to the point where I made a last minute, makeshift dam out of foil to keep the croissants and the eggs separate. Alas, the whites slowly made its way and invaded the territory of the croissants. Again, the consequences of this would reveal itself later when the egg whites made the bottoms of the croissants soggy and glue to the foil that I did not think about greasing earlier.

“This is fine”, I say to myself as I rip off the bottom half of a croissant with an almost delicate, surgical hand armed with a spatula.

Clearly, God did not want me to have a boring time prepping for DT breakfast tonight.

Aside from losing 25% of my croissants to the bottom of the sheet pan, the rest of the process of baking everything else went by smoothly.

The last step was assembling the sandwich together. I took what I gauged to be approximately 1/8th of…whatever egg mess I made on the pan and shoved it into a croissant, then a thin layer of kimchi, and then topped it with a piece of cheesy Spam. It was a lot to fit in one poor gaping croissant but I stretched and pushed it to its limit, pressing everything in with a spoon, because everything was going to fit in there or so help me, God.

Then I made the sandwich and topped it with some togarashi and green onions for a pop of color. It looked pretty good!

Like one can’t even tell that half of these croissants suffered some sort of traumatic injury.

Overall

This is an indulgent treat. If you like Spam, you will like this. I liked this. This is a breakfast that is not good for my body, but good for my soul. Should be a no brainer that I liked this. Sticking kimchi and spam into a breakfast sandwich is an obvious Flavortown power move and I’m mad that I didn’t think of it earlier.

The only thing I would change was seasoning the eggs before putting it into the sandwich with togarashi, green onions, and pepper. I did so on a whim and found that the taste was highly elevated by the addition of spices/onions to otherwise bland eggs.

I would also not put cheese or put less of it, since the flavor took away from the Spam that I really wanted to focus on.

Overall, it was a solid breakfast.

And as a reward/pay off for my efforts for a nicer breakfast….

No one showed up.

That Friday morning was me, God’s Word, and my spam sandwiches.

Noice.